Wednesday, August 17, 2005

birthday

...for a second even I had to calculate when I was born...
.its ok...these days are such...its on the 18th...
...I wish to sleep through it..

27in2days...m

doctor uncle

...after a longtime...today...I met my doctor uncle...he has been our family doctor since I was not in the family picture...he knows each and every physical evolution I've gone through...I've been his case study...he knows every single time I was faking my stomach ache for school...and he'd just smile and tell my dad that I need rest...there are very few people in the world that you need to see several times in your life for a rejuvenating fresh blow of air...sometimes (maybe everyone would agree) I just know who do I need to speak to rectify a completely remote problem without even bringing the problem up with that person...like discussing political issues with my another 'Politcally Islami' uncle would make me feel grown up for instance...now mr.docuncle is one of those characters...whom you need to see at different stages of your life... though he reminded me of my several tough times through health issues...but I enjoyed it...he still has the same procedures of taking your BP down...and would keep talking to you like a friend while examining...and in his mind noticing the new developments his study has brought up...all the furniture was the same...the aged leather smell...his movements methods gestures...the calm face that knows it all...looking over his glasses rather than through was one of my observations of change amongst the obvious ones like the grey hair and the ageing...and his pride in his son...that maybe is the only achievement that a man really needs...to pass on himself to another generation with a certain significance that is better than the former...just there...thats it:
"...for the disturbance in your ankle go to shahid, my son next door, he specializes in spurs..."

love to all who share their thoughts
...m.

Saturday, August 13, 2005

annual vacation

...So I visited the place, the city I've lived for a larger part of my life...we called it 'home'...or should I say we used to associate the place with a certain feeling of harmony...where everything comes together...binds...where my parents are...and my siblings and made siblings are...aunties...friends...dyslexic enemies...familiar looking places...where to eat the right ice-cream of a certain flavour...what is the shortcut to take you home in times of a curfew or a blast in the city...how to cope with the worst traffic with my half-dead car...where I used to dream...where all my schools are...where I notice trees I've been with for hours...trees I have photographed in a fine season for my photography class...where I prayed to God and nearly got nowhere with it...and then suddenly I got everything everybody else wanted me to have...and what I thought would just be a minor turn, a mere adjustment: could mount to such a void...a silence...the best and the worst is when you can't differentiate...you can't tell if it is really happening...or not...and then you wait for it to happen...and it doesn't and you can't tell if it has already taken place...I did not know and I still don't...but I care...and now I can't say I don't...

m